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I don't know why I would want to write now or even what I am going to write, but I just feel this sudden sense of loneliness and at the same time I feel bored and sad, and tensed, I don't know what's wrong with me.

What I do know is that I am terribly missing someone. I think about her every night before I sleep, it just eats me from inside knowing that she is there and I am here. I think about her words everyday, her words that said "You should find someone else, don't waste your time with me."

Am I wasting my time? I don't know, I finally feel like I have met the one, well I have thought before that the others were the one as well but there always seemed to be some complications with them, religion for instance. Well even this is not excluded from those, the age sure seems to bother the both of us. However it doesn't really mean much right? I mean when you really like someone you don't really look at their age and everything. My parents are 3 years apart, my mum's parents - 12 years. So based on those I don't think it is such a problem, is it?

Maybe it's just not suitable for now, maybe in 3 years time, we'll be the perfect couple. But 3 years isn't a short period of time, anything can happen in 3 years. I've experienced losing someone before just because I wasn't ready to commit myself.

So should I go for it?

Timetables, Subjects, People, Tasks....

Its amazing I can even sit in front of the computer and type these words that I am typing now. I know I'm online all the time, but to actually empty your mind and think about what had happened throughout the week and stuffs like that, I just don't have the patience to do it.

I'm crazily tired, been running up and down from the hospital to college to going out to makan with friends that I realized I don't actually have time to really settle down for myself. First of all the timetable keeps on changing, but no one can be blamed on this issue because there are not many permanent staffs in HICT and therefore we have to arrange the timetable to suit the part-time lecturers availability. I hope Shireen and Say Pin can hang on as its really not easy to be in their shoes. Come on people, its not like they have a choice, they need to do their job as well right?

Subjects...... My God, I really don't know how I'm going to survive this semester, I have to reduce my online-ing and sit down and start reading. You know why? Because all the subjects that I took requires heavy reading... From English 121 to World Literature to Moral Studies to Introduction to Psychology. I really pray I can pull it through because I'm definitely not the type that reads thru stuff and all.

The people around me what can I say. Some people turn me on so much I can barely contain myself and some people just get to my nerves so much that I feel like drawing my fist and dig a punch into their faces. And please don't think I'm some pervert getting high for no reason, when I meant turning me on, I meant Edric and Arun who excited me so much with their strategy of creating buzz for our upcoming musical that I was left at awe and feeling so darn high- you know that ecstacy-like feling. Gosh!!! That was HEAVEN!!!!!!

And lastly, for now that is, I'm up to my neck with all the tasks I need to do for the college and for my mum and all, I really need to know how to organize my time better.

Oh well people wish me luck, Dr. Love needs the lucks rushing in now. Hope its a good year for the Horse. Chiowz...

College is back!!!!

Ok, first of all, a thousand and one apologies :P for not being able to constantly update my blog like I used to. The reason for this is because college has started again and we have hell lot planned ahead for this year. Let me give u brief description of what we are planning to do this year.

Let's see... The major project comes under the Performing Arts Club which is a musical. We are planning to have it played in college on July 3 in conjunction with the US Independence Day. If it manages to be a hit, IF, then we will be trying to play it in other places as well.

Besides that, we are in deep discussion to organize an inter-school street soccer competition. We plan to have it sometime around June, after the students mid-year exams and also before their trials for those who have SPM or PMR. This competition is open for girls as well as guys, so if anyone reads this and are interested to take part, please do let me know, but you guys and girls have to be from a school in Klang.

Besides all these major plans, I of course have my own little petty works to do here and there, so thats basically is what is keeping me away from blogging all this while but nonetheless I'm back here.

Don't worry, Dr. Love is always around. But he needs to go now. :P

Take care, peepz. Chiowz.

2009 is here!!!

Well a year has gone and now a new year has arrived. Why do I sound so dull? Because for a fact I believe nothing is going to change much this year. Ok wait let me rephrase that sentence "nothing much is going to change this year" Let's analyze this situation and deduce why I have came up with such a statement (Fuyoh.. all my science terms coming out... :D)

2008
I thought everything would change this year, you know, me being done with school, and having a whole new kinda life ahead of me. I never realized I would be proven wrong. I had wanted to work but it was screwed up trying to find a job nearby my place so I decided to go all the way to KL, stay in church and work in Midvalley.
I wanted to start work in December 2007, but my mum told me she didn't want me to go anywhere for Christmas so I had to stay home. Then January I was sent to India to attend some meeting.

So I finally started working in February. I found a job in Tony Roma's The Gardens. My cousin was working there so I kinda used his influence. I picked up quickly (or so.. I guess) and even though I didn't pass the required needs I was taken to serve tables because we lacked staffs. It was heaven, I never really recall enjoying doing work so much. No, it wasn't because I was given freedom, nothing of that sort, it was purely because of the people I was working with. A great bunch of people, and I don't know whether I'll find workmates as good and fun as them. I used to be so motivated to go to work even though I knew that I would only be back at 2 in the morning. For those who know KL well, I used to finish work at 2, then head to the exit, walk right beside Volvo (which is beside the highway) and all the way to Brickfields, imagine that 2 in the morning walking alone, but I didn't have a single regret, it was awesome.

What made it even more awesome was that I met someone amazing when I was working back in KL. She was a girl I met through Friendster, and we decided to meet up, and lets just say she kinda turned my life around. We had our ups and downs, like every other relationships out there. I know how much I meant to her, though she might not think I appreciated her, I did, though now I realize I didn't actually show her how much she meant to me.

Just to make it clear, I appreciated every single second

that you spent with me, every single step that I took

knowing that I had you watching over me.

What you said is true I guess. I was an awesome friend but a sucky lover.

Thanks for still being with me now,

thanks for understanding me,

thanks for accepting me for who I am,

thanks for never saying "I had enough"

thanks for calling me at nights and just keeping me awake with you,

thanks for just being you.

I quit my job after a month, had some problems there, and I had to join college. I was initially planning on doing a Foundation in Science in HICT, then proceed to HELP to pursue a degree in Psychology. However, fate decided that it was not to be, upon enquiring, we found out that a degree in Psychology was being offered through the American Degree Program. Well, to make things short, I decided to enrol for that course and in no time at all, I was making friends (come on la .. its me you're talking about here... how can I not make friends :p)

Slowly but surely a change was coming about in the college. You see when I first joined college, it was dull, a place of no life, a stagnant mood of patheticness floating about. Then, we met the best lecturer of all time, Mr. Victor. Now, he brought this different mind set into our college habit. He had a dream, and he sensed his dream would be able to be a reality with us. We, of course, being so freaking active back in school most undoubtedly said yes.

This was the changing point, as we set off to make an unimaginable tide of changes.

We started of many clubs such as the Drama club (now known as the performing arts club which includes drama club, dance club and music club) and the Toastmasters club.

We started up a bistro known as the Blackout Bistro serving foods for anyone who visits the bistro.

We performed for many shows in the college events such as the July 4th American Independence Day show and the Bloody Hell Show.

So college was a blast and oh yeah, my bunch of friends won the HICT Street Soccer tournament. So all in all, college was the best thing to keep my 2008 alive.

Besides that, I went clubbing for the first time in my life, it was awesome, everything about it was almost bringing me to tears of joy.

However what I meant when I said that I don't think nothing much is going to change is the freedom I get from my parents. I believe all of you should know how strict my parents are, or probably not strict but rather how they wouldn't let me out that much. I started last year thinking that I'm goin to be 18, I've left school, now life is about to change, I was hell wrong. Well, yes, I did get to go out more than I used to, but looking around and seeing the people my age, I realize some kids are better off than me, in that sense I don't see 2009 being any different for me.

BUT!!!!!

I'm not going to sit down and moan about it, HELL NO!!!! I'm going to make full use of it, in whichever way I can, thanks to Ahdesya and Ruzanna for kicking it into me.

So I'm going to nail 2009 in the best way I can, and I just realized I have another thing to accomplish in 2009

I NEED TO GET MY FIRST KISS!!!

The Year Is Coming To An End, Hope The Fun Doesnt

Its been a while since I've blogged. Kinda lost the mood to blog, I don't know why. But since I have a blog, I cant let it die, can I? Plus many people read it, can't disappoint them I guess.

Well I left off, after a disappointing christmas, the only fun thing about it was meeting all my friends again, still waiting for the pics though I don't see any. I was only allowed to be out till 12 which was even more sad. Life is starting to be more and more frustrating for me, but I sitll have to live on.

I have been out a lot... well kind of... though it was always with my parents. I went to Sunway Pyramid, twice, in the past 2 days. Got myself a whole bunch of computer stuffs. Spend about a 1000 bucks on it, which I hate, because I'm not the kind of guy who likes spending unnecessarily.

Besides that, I guess its ok, no goin to countdown this year as parents wanted me to stay at home and prepare for church tomorrow. I have to go send my friends "New Year" messages now.

And... about my new year resolutions. I think I'll stick with the same one I've been having for ages - PUTTING ON MORE WEIGHT!!!!!!

Take care guys, have a fun new year. Dr. Love ain't gonna retire so I'm always here if you guys need me.

Christmas is over :(

Well I cant say Christmas was a blast neither can I say it was a bore. I don't want to get into detail because I just don't know why but I dun want to. I just had my mum's sister's family come over and had sum time with my cousins and then that night went to Steffy's place. That is the only thing which made my day feel somwhat like Christmas, THANK YOU SO MUCH STEFFY FOR HAVING ME OVER, AND THANKS TO GARY AND RICHARD AS WELL FOR NOT MAKING ME FEEL AWKWARD!!!!! I'm waiting for the pics, miss Shawn and Shaquille btw I think thats how you spell their names. That's all for now, hope you guys had a better christmas, chiow

Christmas is coming

Well Christmas itches closer and closer, but I find that I don't really know how to put this, but it kinda feels as if the whole meaning to it is not there. Yeah I know its weird and all but its how I feel. I happened to think a lot lately, was on the phone with my dear Cassey till 4.30 in the morning last night. Thank you so much Cassey, its awesome to talk to you, I feel proud of who I am when I talk to you.

So coming to that, I would like to take the time off, to thank all the special girls in my life who have one way or the other played a special role in my life and in making me who I am today even though I might have only known some of you for a few months. I am in no way posting the names in accordance to importance so don't you people get offended, one thing I know for sure its going to be a long post. So here goes.....

1. Cassandra - You make me happy so much I dont exactly know where to start. Thank you for being there for me last night especially, and I'll be there for you too in case you need anything. Lalalalala =p
2. Sharlene - I know we practically didn't even talk to each other properly when we first met, you were full of problems back then. I still remember how you used to suddenly get pissed at me out of the blue but I'm glad I did hang on because I don't know how my life would have been if you weren't exactly a part of it. Thank you for everything.
3. Meliza - I actually thought you were a stalker of some sort when we first met. And then how quickly things changed in an instant we were so close, I'm sorry I had to do all those things to dig into your past and all, but as I say and always will say I wont leave you Mel, don't you worry bout that.
4. Lisa Wong - Another example of how random people can be a good friend to you if you and of course they let you. I can't recall how I met you, I believe it was through Facebook, I'm sure there are many more things I don't know about you as well as things you don't know about me. I sure hope you give me that chance. Besides that, thanks for entertaining me and I WANNA KNOW YOU MORE!!!
5. Nichole (Nicky Baby) - Where should I start? You're my everything, well almost all of it. =) Even though you might be in England, you're always here with me, at the times I feel sad, all I need to do is just to play the recording of you, and within seconds you put a smile on my face. That's how amazing you are to me my dear, though we have never met, I believe I have seen more than many of the people who have met you have seen. Thank you for that and also for always being there for me and btw, HOW IS HAROLD?? That's the name right? =p
6. Steffy - You just knew your name was about to appear here didn't you. Well you deserve to be here, I cant imagine my life without you. How long have we actually known each other now? Ummm I think about 3 years? Those 3 years I will never forget how much you have helped me along the way. Every single time I was down I could count on you to always lift me up when I fall, thank you for those wonderful 3 years. And please find a nice guy, I cant rush to your house all the time =p I love you so much my dear Steffy.
7. Seow Ling - Ini banyak susah mahu tulis wor. I've known you for 5 years right? 5 crazy years which involved love, friendships as well as fights. You were a real roller coaster ride. It was kinda scary for me to deal with you, never knowing how you would react to the things I say. You've brought the biggest changes in my life, I wouldn't want to go in detail about that. Whatever it is, you I can never forget. You still owe me a movie la, he he. Thanks for everything, and I love you.
8. Audrey - Well naturally when I'm writing about this group, names just keep flooding in, I hope I can remember all of it. Ummm, you, I've known for 5 years as well, 4 wonderful years and 1 normal years. I'll never forget you, never. Its really difficult to forget someone who you have loved so much. I know life might not have been a smooth ride for you. Nonetheless you tried to make sure that it was smooth for me, and for every single effort you took, I wanna thank you for always being there for me, even when I call you at 2 in the morning. Thank you very very much and I love you.
9. Farah - You are a very difficult story to tell. Nonetheless very important in my life. Somehow you always seemed to be there for me when I was down. Yes I know sometimes we have had our conflicts but whatever it may be you are essential to me. Thank you my dear and I love you.
10. Angeline - You were another special person in my life. Rising and falling I could never really define our friendship. But, but, you were a real friend to me. At least I feel that way, and I really miss you, and I have no idea where you are now or what you are doing, but I wanted to make sure you were thanked for every single episode of my life that you were a part of. Thank you so so much and never forget that I love you even if I don't write it....
11. Nisha (Nishy) - You were one hell of an infatuation for me. I could never really express my feelings about you. However, you remained a friend to me and always tried to help. I know you're busy, but I really miss hanging out with you and most definitely bullying you. Hope to hang out with you more. I love you loads Nishy, thanks.
12. Rebecca - My list would have never been complete if you weren't a part of it. Where should I start with you. Met you 7 years ago, liked you 5 years ago, you liked me back 3 years ago. What a story, I'm stuck now I don't know what else to write. I realize now that I might have been a real pain in the arse for you, but somehow you never really bothered. What I hate about you is that you make me talk about all my stuffs but you never really open up to me, that was always the thing which bugged me, but I guess I understand. Nothing means more to me than your happiness my dear, nothing. Thank you for being there for me even though you're like 500km away I love you so much and I doubt that will change.
13. Ruzanna - You were one hell of an episode in my life. I never knew I could fall in love so badly with a girl I barely even knew. You were everything to me, and no matter what happens, I'll never forget you. I'm missing you like hell now, I guess you're in UK now, I hope you let me know when you come back. Thanks for always being there for me, and most of all thank you for always loving me the way I was, I knew I didn't need to be someone else with you. I love you.

I think the rest I'll just name them I find it so hard to actually write stuffs about them

1. Leann
2. Poojha (Singapore)
3. Rachel (Johor)
4. Rachel (college)
5. Shireen (college)
6. Natasha Nivashini
7. Cindy
8. Lalitha
9. Sheena (my cuzin)
10. Vaishna
11. Aarthi
12. Ahdesya
13. Alice
14. Amalina
15. Archana
16. Azreena
17. Carmen
18. Chelsea (Australia)
19. Crystal
20. Deepa
21. Dian
22. Farazatul Balqish
23. Hirushiya
24. Ho Tuck Chee
25. Janelle
26. Kamini (Work Colleague)
27. Karishma
28. Kesher
29. Keshwinder
30. Kiranniya
31. Lana
32. Leena
33. Linda
34. Malini
35. Monica
36. Neva
37. Parveen
38. Pei Yin
39. Rafhanah
40. Renu
41. Revati
42. Sastradhanea
43. Shirenee
44. Narmatha
45. Sue fyenn
46. Tammy
47. Logeetha
48. Thusharaa
49. Yi Ting
50. Yoshnni
51. Zayana
52. Alicia Chan (Though I have no idea where is she or how is she)

I guess that's about it, for those who believe they should be in the list please do let me know.